Christmas Wrapped

Time’s just about out — hopefully the shopping is done, the presents are wrapped, the cookies are baked and the cards are in the mail.

Ha!

Sure, ideally, you’re sitting pretty, sipping rum while enjoying the satisfaction of a perfectly organized and executed holiday. But, really, how many of us are there? I would wager that most of us are still wracking our brains over a last-minute gift or lamenting some other holiday detail we’ve overlooked. 

You know what? It’s okay. You have official “Christmas Wrapped” permission to let go of the stress and the worry that sneak into the season. No one will mind if the cookies come from the bakery. Or some if your presents are lovingly-worded IOUs. Or if your holiday party turns into a holiday potluck. Or if you send New Year’s (or Valentine’s or electronic) cards.

You do not have to sacrifice the next two days to the illusion of holiday perfection. Banish the Norman Rockwell (and Pottery Barn) images from your mind and remember that the holidays are about celebration, not presentation. You deserve to enjoy this time with your friends and family, or with your dog, or your Netflix, or whatever else fills you with joy and peace at this time of year.

I just had the wonderful and eye-opening experience of talking to a long-distance family member who I haven’t spoken to in a long time. Her family’s going through a rough patch right now, and, after we caught up on all that has happened in our lives, she told me that the best gift I could have given her was my phone call. So simple. I felt the same way.

So, if you’re considering spending the next couple days on a marathon shopping/cooking/wrapping/crafting/worrying session — unless that’s what you enjoy — try this instead: warm up a mug of egg nog, stoke the fire, grab and/or call your favorite person, and look around at all that you have to be grateful for.

I’m always surprised by how busy the holiday season is. We keep things simple at my house, so it’s not as if I have lots of baking to do or guests to host. Even so, I’m starting to feel the time crunch.

Last year, my neighbor introduced me to a wonderful way to share the holidays with a large group of friends and family with very little stress: the holiday open house. She invited guests to drop by any time between 4pm and 9pm and asked everyone to bring along a plate of their favorite appetizers or desserts. All she had to do was tidy up the house, turn on the music, and set out some egg nog and a few paper plates and cups. After that, she sat back and enjoyed the steady stream of guests, and her party practically ran itself.

We all had a wonderful time. Families with young kids could come early, eat a few bites, then cut out without feeling like they were offending anyone. Neighbors got reacquainted without the pressure of having to carry on dinner-length conversations. Even the busiest of friends could drop by for a few minutes. Everyone enjoyed sampling the wide array of goodies (the dining room table was laden with delicious contributions), and, best of all, the hosts were relaxed…the key to a fun party.

At the end of the open house, a few hangers-on helped clean up, and everything was washed and put away by 10:30pm. Lots of fun and celebration for very little effort and time.

So, if you’re hankering to host a party but don’t have the time or wherewithal to throw a full-scale holiday event, consider an open house. Let your guests help you celebrate, and everyone will have a great time.

When I was a kid, I could count on the same birthday and Hanukkah gift from my long-distance grandmother: a check for $35 tucked inside a greeting card. Every year I got excited about the new treasure I could buy, or the boost her contribution would give to my tiny savings account.

I’m not sure why gifts of money get such a bad rap — they’re written off as impersonal; tacky, even. But, for school-age kids to young adults, there’s nothing simpler or more practical. Think of it as a universal gift card, redeemable anywhere, including the bank.

I’ve decided to adopt the same tradition for my nieces and nephews. Everyone’s getting checks from now on. No more haphazardly chosen toys they don’t need. No more wasteful shipping and packaging. And (bonus!) no more last-minute shopping.

Which is not to say gifts of money have to be 100% utilitarian. With a little extra effort, you can turn your cash gift into something more memorable:

Think homemade. If you’re crafty, the world’s your oyster, but even if you’re not, you’ve got plenty of options. A little knitted ornament? A handmade card or box? An “envelope” stitched from a fabric scrap? A small tin of cookies? A few homemade gift labels?

Think humorous. My mother-in-law and I have come up with the silly tradition of giving each other cards that feature ridiculous dog pictures. Heather suggests including a list of crazy ideas for what the money could be used for. What about a hand-lettered collection of your favorite holiday jokes? Or: an annual pair of tacky holiday-themed socks.

Think personal. Include a few photos from shared special occasions to remind the giftee of good times spent together.

Think educational. Tuck the check inside the front cover of a book that teaches basic money management. For kids, consider Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace, Jr.: Teaching Kids About Money!. For young adults, try Please Send Money: A Financial Survival Guide for Young Adults on Their Own by Dara Duguay.

How do you add a personal touch to your gifts of money?

I’ve never understood why, for so many, holiday gift-giving is the stressful, bank-account-emptying task it is. It’s a pleasure to give gifts. Why then is Christmas shopping so fraught with tension?

If I sound like an insufferable Pollyanna, I apologize. Perhaps it’s not fair for me ponder as I’m a celebrator of Hanukkah. While my family gets plenty gifty during this time of year (and we even hang stockings and invite Santa to visit), we only give presents to immediate family. We don’t engage in the popular Christmas practice (among a few of my friends at least) of giving gifts to everyone.

To me, the first line of holiday anxiety defense is to drastically pare down the gift list. It works in everyone’s favor: you save money, time, and sanity, and your friends and family suffer fewer awkward but-I-didn’t-get-you-a-gift moments. And you know what? They secretly want to get off the runaway gift-giving train, too.

Next, I try to pick up gifts as I see them, then “shop” my closet when the holidays arrive. I mentally record my kids’ pleas of “I love that!” and “Can I pleeeeease have it?” (My reply of “Add it to your wish list” mysteriously satisfies them. I think it’s more about being heard than actually getting the toy.) Later, when I have some time to myself, I pick up a couple of their “wish list” items and stash them in my office closet. This, more than anything else I do, simplifies gift-giving because I can sit back, smugly admiring my cache of presents, while I watch the crowds of holiday shoppers from afar.

Of course, this makes me looks a lot more together than I actually am. I’ve forgotten about presents hidden in the recesses of my closet, and I inevitably neglect someone and have to rush out into the dark of night for a gift. This year, I’ve scheduled BUY LAST-MINUTE PRESENTS in my calendar on December 1. That way, I can still avoid the worst of the holiday crowds or score Amazon’s free shipping with plenty of time to spare for wrapping.