Comments on: How to ratchet down holiday gift-giving stress

By: make art every day

make art every day — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 14:01:46 +0000

lisabee, i feel your pain! my dad has been married three times – to my mom, my first stepmother (who is the mother of his other children and whom i’m still close to) and his current wife. my mom had two children with her second husband. although i have five siblings, we can’t really draw names because they aren’t related to each other.

we have cut back by only buying for siblings’ kids and everyone seems to appreciate that. and my husband’s family initiated a discussion asking to cut back — we approved and offered the option of homemade. like having my FIL write down stories from his childhood. to me, that’s a much better gift than something picked up at a store.

good luck with your celebration.

By: Christy

Christy — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 22:24:42 +0000

I have a large family as well, as does my husband, plus several give-gifts-to-everyone type friends. One of the things that has helped me pare down the excessively long gift list is to remember that just because someone gives me a gift does not mean I have to give them one. What I do give is my heartfelt thanks, both verbal when I can and in writing. They’ll remember and enjoy a warm thank you note a lot more than some random scented candle that I pick up so I’ll have something to give them too.

We also draw names, and we usually pool money with our siblings to buy one gift for our parents that we know they’ll actually use. An idea for the kids that we have done (and will do this year) is make each one a cookie-mix-in-a-jar that they can make with their parents or with us. It’s low cost, low waste (they can reuse/recycle the jars and there’s no other packaging), and what kid doesn’t enjoy baking cookies?

By: Asha {Parent Hacks}

Asha {Parent Hacks} — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 18:31:37 +0000

Lisabee: I do indeed have a small family. But we solved the extended family gift situation by drawing names at Thanksgiving for a gift exchange later on.

If you and your family enjoy giving gifts, you can afford it, and it doesn’t add too much stress to the holiday season, gift away! I, too, love to give gifts, but I don’t love the obligation to check names off of a list.

Handmade gifts are the best! Bravo — I’m sure your family loves them.

By: lisabee

lisabee — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:17:29 +0000

how big is your family? we do “family only,” too, but i have two parents, two stepparents, two brothers, two sisters-in-law, two nephews, two parents-in-law, an aunt-in-law who attends every gathering and gives us all gifts, two brothers-in-law, and two nieces.

and that’s not even including the four stepsiblings, their spouses, and their bazillion children on one side of the family!

i’ve tried many years to derail the gift train on my side of the family, but it has never worked. i gave up. i do love giving gifts, and i guess they do, too. in a way, i add to my own stress by wanting to handknit as many gifts as i can, and of course there’s just never time to make it all. for my own sanity, i try to deemphasize giving at one time of year and give year-round instead when i can. that’s the best way–aside from online shopping–to reduce my stress about gifts. my holiday stress is actually usually more about travel, cleaning, cooking, seeing people who may or may not stress me out, and juggling it all with a life that marches on whether it’s a holiday or not!